Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
