This is not my ceiling
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
