And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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