Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
