Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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