Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

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(408): I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure http://tfl.nu/8j71

Replies (28) Good night (585) Bad night (1796)
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(516): View more from New York

I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...

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(516): I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero... http://tfl.nu/d5tx

Replies (24) Good night (5783) Bad night (790)
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(757): View more from Virginia

apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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(757): apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously http://tfl.nu/dgt5

Replies (19) Good night (989) Bad night (5119)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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(225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j

Replies (9) Good night (5809) Bad night (864)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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(513): Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch. http://tfl.nu/dpne

Replies (25) Good night (14830) Bad night (1813)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would

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(405): i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would http://tfl.nu/ua94

Replies (7) Good night (3891) Bad night (908)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?

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(704): I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right? http://tfl.nu/ljg3

Replies (13) Good night (1176) Bad night (3891)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

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(859): did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring http://tfl.nu/dlju

Replies (24) Good night (12784) Bad night (1760)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.

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(810): I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio. http://tfl.nu/bxp9

Replies (10) Good night (1044) Bad night (3051)
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(925): View more from California

We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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(925): We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo... http://tfl.nu/7fya

Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (2359)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today

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(412): You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today http://tfl.nu/so0a

Replies (5) Good night (920) Bad night (587)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.

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(215): You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you. http://tfl.nu/sg3o

Replies (7) Good night (1216) Bad night (682)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.

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(952): He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy. http://tfl.nu/1isp

Replies (5) Good night (1109) Bad night (687)
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(415): View more from California

I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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(415): I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms http://tfl.nu/hvko

Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (605)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.

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(630): She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers. http://tfl.nu/k5vd

Replies (1) Good night (234) Bad night (614)

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