Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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  (408): i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked. http://tfl.nu/0z4b
  Replies (12) Good night (3482) Bad night (579)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.

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  (301): im trying to catch a child molester. call you later. http://tfl.nu/dlxg
  Replies (21) Good night (5316) Bad night (1061)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.

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  (856): What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again. http://tfl.nu/nufk
  Replies (9) Good night (4334) Bad night (1019)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could

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  (908): you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could http://tfl.nu/ea9t
  Replies (4) Good night (3420) Bad night (1217)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."

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  (630): And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs." http://tfl.nu/aazi
  Replies (7) Good night (1053) Bad night (3727)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious

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  (714): I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious http://tfl.nu/8hxf
  Replies (22) Good night (7154) Bad night (1130)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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  (480): i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone http://tfl.nu/s959
  Replies (12) Good night (6429) Bad night (1568)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out

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  (803): I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out http://tfl.nu/rkh6
  Replies (5) Good night (1732) Bad night (978)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.

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  (314): In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk. http://tfl.nu/6bmy
  Replies (28) Good night (6970) Bad night (1007)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  i am way too old to be getting fingered at work

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  (519): i am way too old to be getting fingered at work http://tfl.nu/4t42
  Replies (37) Good night (6068) Bad night (1551)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.

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  (701): It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server. http://tfl.nu/p1uj
  Replies (4) Good night (1238) Bad night (1632)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.

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  (407): If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life. http://tfl.nu/zp1p
  Replies (11) Good night (985) Bad night (2524)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.

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  (902): I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/kzf1
  Replies (5) Good night (2308) Bad night (765)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.

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  (306): You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons. http://tfl.nu/ly4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (806)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I had to rip your toilet paper for you...

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  (914): I had to rip your toilet paper for you... http://tfl.nu/xdup
  Replies (3) Good night (573) Bad night (808)

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