I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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