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• (703): View more from Virginia

  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems

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• (408): View more from California

  i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg

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