Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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