hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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