Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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