I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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