Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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