Soap is not a condiment
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
