We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We had to coat check the pizza.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
