the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
