were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
