Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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