I wannas sexs uuuuu
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
