Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
