Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
