is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
