can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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