It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
