Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
