I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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