I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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