Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize