Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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