i think my tv is drunk
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Someone signed my nipple.
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