And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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