i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
