Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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