whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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