I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
