She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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