let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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