my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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