You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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