Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
50% drunk capacity currently
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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