one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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