weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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