Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
