yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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