definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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