I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
And then he peed in my hair
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