There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
