I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize