Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
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masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
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I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.