If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off