I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"