What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.