Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
