No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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