no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
