He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
whose parrot is this?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
