Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
