I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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