even my farts smell like vagina
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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