So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
