he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
