C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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