WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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